Wondering about the possibility

Today my brain has been on non stop GO since I woke up this morning. Tonight is the night I will give myself "The Shot" to release all the eggs from the follicles that have grown through all the IVF meds and injections. Hoping for 7-8 eggs if we are really lucky to work with staring Monday at 10:15 AM. the more we have the better our chances they say. I imagine the eggs racing down the path hoping to be THE ONE they catch and the one that turns into our miracle we so badly want and pray for. Have I done all I can to make this a success, are my eggs healthy, will they grow and attach when the time comes. Just so many things to think about and try to remain calm at the same time. Not always an easy task for me. ha ha ha

I have been actually sitting in the recliner chair that we purchased for the nursery and doing some cross stitch patterns for the little ones room. I feel at peace in there for the first time in months since our failed adoption early Dec of 2008. I find myself able to relax and smile in the nursery now and I imagine what it could be like if this chance before us actually works. It keeps me moving forward and believing somehow someway a little miracle will be in our lives to love and cherish sooner than later. It's also a little scary because I want to prepare myself for the possibility that it may not work at the same time. I just keep telling myself that we have done all we can do on our side of things and that soon it will be in Gods hands and whatever the outcome we will be okay and continue to stay strong and look back at the adoption journey once again. But in reality I know in my heart I will be absolutely crushed and just a complete emotional mess. Ugh, it's just something that time will have to tell us and believe me.........I have had to learn my patience the hard way when it comes to TIME and WAITING!

I am anxious and nervous about Monday's big event. Want to know how many eggs they retrieved and are they healthy? Get them growing in the dish and lets get them transferred as soon as possible :) I am soooo ready for that part of this process. I know I will be on complete bed rest for 48 hours after transfer and I am very okay with that process. I will be making up meals on Tuesday so all Jim will have to do is warm food up for me and make sure I have lots of good movies to watch. lol This will be interesting to the least. He's looking forward to waiting on me hand and foot. ha ha ha...Not but it will be good practice for him right :)