Why I will do NO MORE home preganancy tests

I woke up this morning with all these thoughts in my head. Had a hard time sleeping of course and that makes me a little cranky. But, I am all good I think. I took a stupid test and of course nothing. Which I knew it would say because it is still way too early. But I did it anyway. I was sad for a quick moment then reminded myself that it's too early and I wasn't expecting it to say congrats anyway. I snapped myself out of feeling like I wanted to cry and made myself a promise to never take one of those again until after Monday's blood test results come back from our doctor :)

I have been doing lots of research on healthy eggs for transfer on day 3 and what they should look like and how many cells and all that good stuff. Based on what I have learned and seen pictures of, ours look awesome and have a good chance. I have done all I could do to keep these little ones safe and happy in there hoping 1 or all will result in a miracle for us soon. Nature is now taking it's course and really if you think about it, Monday is only 5 more days away. I have managed to make it through all these months of waiting so 5 more days will not kill me right? lol

Jim will be in Chicago on Monday when I go for my blood work and wait for the results. I think that day will be the hardest waiting day ever for me. With him not hear and if the results are not in our favor I will be a complete wreck all by myself. That's hard to think about but hoping all is awesome and then I will be all smiles and happy tears as my fur babies look at me and try to figure out what the heck has happened to our mom? lol

I am staying positive and so is Jim so I think we are doing the best we can with this waiting period. Hopefully we can continue that way. Keep you posted. Keep praying :)