Discussing Options

As I still remain inactive, lol, a lot of things cross my mind these days. Hoping all 3 little ones are doing wonderful and hoping for our miracle outcome in the end. But with all the possible "What If's" comes those reality type questions of, what if this works and it's twins or even triplets? I mean, with 3 transferred embryos it's a possibility those options could happen.

I feel in my heart of hearts that if all 3 were to take we would be so overjoyed and our family would truly be complete. However, in reality and with the real world we live in not sure it's something we could handle right now. Jim and I were talking about these very things more today than we have in the past few days. If God blessed us with 3 beautiful miracles it would be a blessing in more ways than one. But we also know that 3 little ones on one income in today's economy would be a struggle. It's one of those pull at your heart strings kind of things I guess. I know in our heart of hearts we would love to keep all 3 but not sure that would be the right thing for the little ones or ourselves. This topic has been on my mind since the moment we received all of them back and it makes me smile and feel just amazing at what could be happening right now. It's one that puts me at a turmoil of the decisions we would have to make. Honestly, not sure what we would do because keeping them all is our first instinct but thinking of the children would have to be our first priority you know.

It would be the most difficult thing we would ever have to do to make a choice like that after all we have been through and all we have done to come this far for a family of our own. But I also know how it feels to be a parent in waiting for that one call to say, this bmom would like to match with you are you ready? Being on both sides of that fence and knowing how emotional and also rewarding that can be humbles my heart when I think about...could we if we had to make that choice for one of children for a better life for all 3? We won't know until if or when that situation came into play but it's something I think about and wonder if I could be strong enough to let one go over the other 2. Makes me feel guilty but trying to think realistically for the just in case so I am as prepared as I can be if I need to be.

Honestly, knowing how it feels to want a family so badly that you do anything and everything in your power to make that a reality I would hope I would be strong enough to make the right decision for us and our children. I have a close friend that is near and dear to my heart. Her and her husband have been trying for years and her story breaks my heart because it's just not fair. They are wonderful fun people who deserve to have a chance at being great parents. I know in my heart of hearts that if that heartbreaking decision ever needed to be made I would feel at peace knowing our child was with them. They would be loved and given everything in life and they would remain a part of our extended family forever. I mean, to think about it, we would have our miracles and we could give them theirs.

God never gives us more than we can handle and we believe that. Time will tell what is meant to be and I will continue to hope all 3 are still getting along in there and someday ready for this world. He will help us make the right choices and no matter what we will feel at peace and always feel blessed.

I just wanted to share the thoughts that run through my head at times because it helps me clear my head and see things clearer. I don't think these thoughts make me a bad person or that I should be ashamed that I have them. I think it's a normal thing and in time we will know what is meant to be and what isn't. So, going to relax, enjoy and take care of what I have to for things to work out in our favor in the end.